"SORRY, IT'S ART."

It has ocurred to me that I haven't really kept you up to date with the progress at WSSP. You know I sold it to Shewho? And part of the deal was I would finish it per her design. It was win win for both of us. I went at it full force, hoping to get the addition up before a hard freeze. But, just before deer season the neighbor dropped a dime on me to the building inspector, forcing me to stop work and go legit. This meant getting stamped plans for the new addition. By the time the plans were done, and our permit was issued the ground had already frozen up, making the pouring of the slab impossible. Yellow posted signs went up on every tree, joining the upside down scowling satan in grim witness to the work shut down.The septic filled with water and I went deer hunting. It felt like the asshole neighbors were winning.
Once deer season and the holidays passed I went back out in the deep freeze, insulated, framed and joined the electrition in readying the old part of the house for inspection. Progress was slow. In that cold it was like working on the moon. The stairs went in. The porch banister was built. In spite of the set backs we were slowly crawling forward. Then, last week we had a thaw. Despite the old man's dire predictions about February, the mercury rose and the frost began to melt. Be careful what you wish for. Forget the Biblical swarm of flies buzzing upstairs. Forget the leak in the brand new front porch. It was the gutteral gurgling emitting from the laid stone basement that really got my attention. Was it time to start gathering the animals?
This is the first structure I've ever owned with a basement. Usually I'm lucky to get away with a hand dug hilly billy crawl space in my real estate speculations. But WSSP has an actual stand up basement under a third of the house. At 10 am there was a couple of inches of water down there. By noon it was a foot deep and rising fast. Indoor swimming pool anyone? To say this property has "issues" is putting it mildly. A rental pump and fire hose later the sound of a straw sucking the bottom of a glass echoed down the road. It turned cold again and the flood stopped. The flies ceased buzzing and hit the floor. Winter was back. I called the building inspector. We were ready for our first inspection.
Some inspectors are hard asses. Some are crooks. Some are reasonable, just doing their job guys. Lucky for Shewho and I, this one was the later. He complimented the work, scribbled in his pad and wandered through the structure, studying floor to ceiling. Aside from some minor detals we were good to go. When I knew we were safe I turned his attention to the view from the upstairs window. "Look at this fucking mess." I said, drawing his attention to the scowling upside down satan, fake cobwebs and caution tape festooning the neighbor's property. He looked long and hard at it. "Is there anything you can do?" I pleaded. He looked at the floor and shook his head. "You know, if there was writing on it, I could cite them for an illegal sign. And if it was a swastika.....well that would be good....but this......I'm afraid there's nothing I can do. Sorry, it's art." Now that's something I didn't see coming.